A BUSKER has been disappointed to find that angsty, melancholic dirges are not the best way to solicit money from the average small-town shopper.
Ryan Whittaker set up outside WHSmith in Cirencester but was surprised to find his renditions of dark and tortured alternative rock songs did not generate the positive response he had hoped for.
Ryan said: “I’m putting real emotion into the vocals, really screaming them out, but people keep ignoring me. Nobody seems to want to put their hand in their pocket for songs like ‘F**k You Like An Animal’ on a sunny Tuesday morning.
“I tried upping the mood with a cover of ‘Creep’ by Radiohead, but apparently that wasn’t mainstream enough for those who blanked me on their way past. What’s wrong with these people? Don’t they want to hear about obsessive unrequited attraction on their way into Holland & Barrett?
“Loads of families walked past like I wasn’t there, but I later saw them gathered by another singer who playing ‘Dancing In The Moonlight’ while their kids danced about. It’s almost like people want to enjoy the music that’s rudely forced on them while they’re just trying to do their shopping.”
Shopper Mary Fisher said: “Oh, is it busking that lad is doing? I thought it was some sort of public mental breakdown.”
