Alcohol

CHANGING a duvet cover is complicated, but can alcohol make it easier? Try with our step-by-step guide.

PARENTS are using playdates as an excuse to get smashed in the afternoons, they have confirmed.

EVERY single person on a 3.30pm train from Bath to Manchester is absolutely leathered, they have confirmed.

A MAN has startled colleagues by stating the exact amount of alcohol he intends to drink on a putative night out.

THIRTY years sailing through ice-crusted seas, knocking back potato vodka for breakfast toughens a man. But how would you fare in a drinking contest with this Russian trawlerman?

A WOMAN who has spent her adult life pretending that champagne is marvellous and special has finally admitted it tastes like farty urine.

A MICROBREWERY has been condemned by craft beer enthusiasts for brewing a beer widely popular for its pleasant taste.

EVERYONE who gets pissed on a couple of drinks is continuing to insist it was because they had not had a proper meal that day.

A WOMAN has ordered a glass of Shiraz as she prefers its name to other wines.

ARE you feeling sh*t this morning after overdoing the booze all weekend? Here’s how to get through the terrifying day ahead.