Alcohol

A man has put an upside-down spoon in a bottle of Cava because he 'knows about wine'.

BRITONS returning to pubs after months of drinking at home have been shocked at the cost of what they consider a single measure.

CLEVER middle class people are going to the pub this weekend instead, having dodged both the common folk and the rush.

OUT for a swift one? Staying out for nine more? Here are the five crucial rules to obey so you can slur ‘I swear I’ve remained within public health guidelines’ when you stagger in.

ENGLAND is suffering an apocalyptic hangover only made worse by Scotland and Wales nagging about how irresponsible it has been.

PUBS in England have announced they will be using a pre-recorded playlist of classic pub noises and sound effects when they reopen.

THIRSTY souls who charge out for their first pub binge in months on Saturday will be unconscious by mid-afternoon, experts have confirmed.

IT'S not long until scenes of drunken carnage begin to unfold on 4 July. But are you properly prepared to be an obnoxious, antisocial dick on 'Super Saturday'?

TEMPTED to ignore your moral compass and visit Wetherspoons when it reopens? Come to your senses with these reminders.

BRITONS have admitted they cannot imagine why they would bother with pubs when it is so much cheaper to get shitfaced in the garden.