Alcohol

SO-CALLED wine experts are misleading the public about the basic function of wine, critics have claimed.

A CONTROVERSIAL new study suggests that leading a rich and full life might not necessarily involve getting sh*tfaced as often as possible.

A WOMAN who said she had better not have a large glass of wine was quite happy to get hammered on a sh*tload of small ones.

A MAN has complained about his inability to lose weight, midway through his 15th pint of the week.

HAVE you started having alcohol-free nights for the sake of your health and waistline? Here’s how to make it through these grim evenings from Hell. 

A GROUP of lads are flying to Ibiza so late that they are lining up at the bar and sinking pints at a perfectly acceptable hour to do so.

BLOKE scientists have advised men to drink at least three extra pints of beer a day to avoid dehydration during the current hot weather.

THE landlords of a regional pub clearly aspire to run a trendy London gastropub but cannot quite get it right, regulars have agreed.

A MAN given a glass of white wine at 1pm has been left with no choice but to continue drinking until nightfall.

A WOMAN who spends all her spare time getting sh*tfaced with her mates is struggling to make it sound like a respectable extracurricular interest.