THE UK has confirmed that if events cause it to need to drink before noon, it is ready to shoulder that burden.
Britons have stressed that they very much hope there is no reason to do so, but if the worst should happen then swigging whisky from the bottle during This Morning can swing into place almost immediately.
Julian Cook of Ludlow said: “I’ve got a hip flask I keep topped up. I’ve loosened the top. I can get three to five units in my system within less than 15 seconds if necessary.
“My son’s relying on lager, which might seem a stretch but he’s 19 and can down a can in moments. If we’re called upon I’m confident he could be shouting pissed within 20 minutes.
“It does feel a bit weird, going about your day as normal while knowing that any moment you could be under pressure to be hammered watching Homes Under The Hammer. But we’re ready. We’ve always been ready.”
Sophie Raworth of the BBC’s News At One team said: “Obviously we’re all hoping that we don’t have to deliver the news Britain fears.
“But if we do, I’ve got a tray of vodka shots on standby. Just try to keep up with me.”
