GREECE was condemned last night for punching a nice horse right in its face.

Eyewitnesses said the animal, a gift from Europe to the former country, went down like a sack of potatoes.

Tom Logan, from Hatfield, added: “I went up to them and I was like, ‘oi, there’s no need for that – what’s it ever done to you?’.

“But they got all angry and said the horse was full of Germans who would wait until everyone was asleep and then creep out of the horse and make sure everyone in Greece had enough money to buy a Volkswagen.

“I said to them, ‘The problem is you don’t have a horse of any kind, or for that matter, a Volkswagen. And anyway, don’t go around punching horses, you dicks’.”

Horse vet, Helen Archer, said: “If you’d worked hard and saved up and bought a horse for your eight year-old daughter and then she said ‘I don’t like this horse, get me another one’ you’d probably just tell her to fuck off.

“And then where would she be without mummy and daddy to buy horses for her? In the fucking gutter, that’s where.”