Features

BREXIT is only a year away, and I bet you’re just as excited as I am.

IS THE universe actually just a sophisticated hologram controlled by aliens? Find out with this quick quiz.

NOT being poor is easy if you follow the advice of twats who read the Daily Express. Here’s how to lift yourself out of poverty by not being feckless scum.

HELPING people have pathetic affairs with old school friends would have been a lot less hassle than undermining Western democracy.

LEAVING Facebook is harder than putting down the family dog for incontinence.

CLAIMS made against me by various women or a raccoon with amazing eyes are entirely untrue.

IS YOUR partner about to dump you and ruin your life? Take our fun test and find out.

IT’S the weekend and annoying bastards want you to go outside and do stuff. Here’s how to avoid them.

WITH acts like John McDonnell and probably also Chumbawamba, Labour Live looks set to become a major music festival. Here’s our handy survival guide.

DO YOU have lots of weird grievances and think people are looking down on you? Take our test and find out.