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WE LOOK at the latest moronic mobile phone games for you to waste your life with.

CAN you perform the relatively simple tasking of walking down a street without making other pedestrians want to punch you? Take our quiz and find out.

"I’m 38 and throughout my life, through my difficult career as a fireplace salesman, through that unfortunate prison stint, through two failed marriages, I have always followed one guiding star."

Something great has happened in someone else’s life. This obviously cannot do, as it means the attention won’t be on you for a couple of days, maybe longer if they really milk it.  

You hear noises in your home late at night. What do you do?

If you must feed your baby then a sausage roll outside Greggs is the more considerate option.

"PLEASE don’t think I’m refusing to engage with Valentine’s Day because I won’t be receiving any cards. It’s actually because it’s a massive pile of wank.

"YOUNG people aren’t spending all their money on brunch, they’re spending it on ruinously expensive hen and stag weekends organised by arseholes.

NEED a personality in a hurry but not sure how to get one? Try these stress-free alternatives to being a well-rounded human being!

A woman has just posted a status about her experiences as a woman on Facebook. Should you throw your two cents into the mix or just shut your fucking hole?