Features

THOUGH most of Britain’s motorists don’t realise it, the country’s roads are theoretically governed by unenforcable ‘speed limits’.

YOU may have heard about cougars, it was quite a big thing a few years ago.

YOU'VE paid into the system your whole life, and now you're expecting to claim benefits. But do you deserve to, or are you workshy freeloader scum?

SOME time ago you allowed us access to every aspect of your life. Don’t deny it.

ONE kid at school was always totally out of order to their mum. Was it you? Take our test to find out.

YEAH, you heard right – I’m taking HER name.

WHILE other people at least try to sort this out, I’m going to hide in my shed and busy myself with my seed library.

AS the world waits to see Meghan's wedding dress we look at other things that cost £300,000, such as a four bedroom house in Scotland.

WE LIVE in a world where sex is no longer a special thing between a man and a shy, pure woman untainted by other penises.

IS THERE some way we could dismantle the patriarchy by watching Masterchef instead?