GRANDMOTHERS have published their plan for a nan-style Brexit focusing on inconsistent racist views and cats.
Leading nan think-tank the Nan Institute is proposing a ban on all foreign men, turning the local Polish shop back into a Spar and also moaned extensively about next door’s cat shitting in the garden.
‘Granny Pat’, executive director of the Nan Institute, said: “Brexit is happening because of nans, and we demand to be heard. I’ll be back in a minute, I’ve just got some meat boiling.”
FOREIGNERS
“Send them packing. I read an article that said they shit in the street, the dirty buggers. In Greece they all shit in the street and they’re terribly cruel to donkeys. And they’re all lesbians.”
THE INDIAN FAMILY THAT RUNS THE LOCAL NEWSAGENT
“They’re all right, they let me off 8p on some crackers. They can stay. I don’t think much of their bananas though. They’re small.”
TRADE
“We don’t like those French apples. Bloody horrible.”
NEXT DOOR’S CAT
“The sodding thing keeps shitting in the garden. I threw some water on it yesterday but it never even took any notice, it’s so hardened. If I had a gun I’d shoot it. Not that I dislike cats.”
Responding to the proposals, a Downing Street source said: “We could go with this. Whatever.”
