Horoscopes

WITH PSYCHIC BOBGemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)Today you're the one who seems to be creating a buzz around the office. Have a look in your handbag. It must have turned itself on again.

WITH PSYCHIC BOBGemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)Being single doesn't have to mean you're all alone feeding 20 cats from your armchair while watching cop show re-runs. It just does in your case.

WITH PSYCHIC BOBGemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)Just when you think you've got her all figured out, your girlfriend surprises you with a hidden talent you didn't know she had. Shame she’s doing it to your best friend. It looks fun! 

WITH PSYCHIC BOBTaurus (April 20-May 20)When you choose not to hide behind someone else, others will appreciate your candor and bravery. But they will still laugh at your tiny penis.

WITH PSYCHIC BOBTaurus (April 20-May 20)You know your sweetie's favourite food and favourite movie, but do you know their deepest hopes and desires? Order those giant nappies now!

WITH PSYCHIC BOBTaurus (April 20-May 20)Your friends are teasing you about your safe – and – easy dating choices? At least when you pick them off a website and hire them you are guaranteed sex. Now who’s laughing?

WITH PSYCHIC BOBTaurus (April 20-May 20)Maybe you are not an artist, but you can still have fun making doodles. If a cutie asks what you are doing, ask them to sit for you. You might get to see pubes! 

WITH PSYCHIC BOBAries (21 MAR-19 APR)Why not try something different this weekend. Visit an art gallery or a museum, and then get drunk and give a complete stranger a blow-job in an alley while he eats his chips. 

WITH PSYCHIC BOBAries (21 MAR-19 APR)Your ego takes a little pounding early this week, but it won't destroy you. Just get back in that bush and wait for another lady to come along. You can do it!