OUR new prime minister charged the whole nation with adrenaline from the steps of Downing Street yesterday. Will England do him proud with a massive win?
Bill McKay, confectioner: “I think what he said about lives of service will resonate with them. Quiet, selfless sacrifice is Premier League footballers to a tee.”
Mary Fisher, horticulturalist: “Unfortunately Switzerland got a new prime minister yesterday who’s even more inspiring than Starmer. You didn’t know about it because it’s not one of the countries that counts.”
Wayne Hayes, flange tester: “Apparently Starmer plays a bit of footie himself. Oy oy? Get out on the f**king pitch, big man. Fill in at left back.”
Dr Helen Archer, GP: “England should score one goal for every Reform MP. Not as a racist dogwhistle, just because that’s a high but manageable number of goals.”
Joe Turner, truck driver’s mate: “I hope he has the humility to learn from Southgate that no matter how well he does, we’ll end up f**king hating him.”
