Wiggins ‘could win Tour de France if he just goes faster than everyone else’

SIR Bradley Wiggins has been told he can win the Tour de France again as long he manages to ride his bike faster than all the other cyclists.

The 2012 winner said he would not take part in this year’s event because he did not have a ‘team’, whereas defending champion Chris Froome does have a ‘team’.

But cycling enthusiasts insisted that the winner of a bike race is the one who finishes it first.

Julian Cook, from Peterborough, said: “If I was him I would go to France and then cycle as fast as I could for as long as possible. As long as he does that better than anyone else he should win.”

Cook added: “Are you allowed to use a tandem in the Tour de France? If so then Wiggins and Froome should form a team. That would be a really fast bike.”

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Secret trials now hottest gig in town

THE British judicial system has seen unprecedented demand for tickets for the upcoming secret trial of two unnamed terrorists.

Tickets are going for £500 on eBay and speculation on the identity of the terrorists is running wild, with rumours including the long-awaited Baader-Meinhof reunion or a Carlos the Jackal comeback.

Law fanatic Tom Booker said: “It’s classic viral marketing: refuse to reveal the defendants, the charges or the verdict and watch demand go through the roof.

Justice Secretary Chris Grayling said: “This is not a secret in the Prince sense of the word.

“It’s a proper secret, and the public will not be told anything about their secret trial, secret sentencing or secret hanging on the secret gallows below Buckingham Palace.”

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