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IF music be the food of love, then why not fill her ears as well as all the other orifices? But just as in sex, one wrong chord and the moment’s dead.

Oh what, so you’re being crowned King are you? And I suppose you think that means you’re better than me?

WAKING on a beach on the east coast, surrounded by rum bottles and an empty can of petrol, I recall the events of the evening prior.

I’VE been feeling pretty right-wing lately, and not in a good way. A tawdry, failed way. But there’s nothing like four hours with a proper fascist to set you right.

CARIBBEAN food? Just fruit isn’t it? After all, they’ve hardly got cows out that way. They couldn’t take the heat.

TODAY President Biden confirmed he will run for a second term in office. And who better?

THEY’VE got adult children and divorces behind them, but can Carolyn Ryan, aged 51, and Nathan Muir, aged 52, make a connection without clearing the restaurant?

A lot of people seem to choose climbing Everest as their hill to die on.

WAKING on a children’s roundabout liberally bedecked in blood, I rotate calmly while recalling the events that led me to my present pass.

‘HE calls you a paedo enabler and Sir Softy is what you hit back with? Do you not even pay attention when I am insulting you?’ my wife asks, not unreasonably.