By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist slightly to the right of Hitler
TWO months ago, Kwarteng announced free cash for the rich. Tomorrow Jeremy Hunt will demand money with menaces from the middle-classes. But what about the poor?
Every time the Tories throw out the tax net, they slip through like sardines. The big bluefish lose their fins while we striving salmon are filleted to within an inch of our lives. The poor? Swimming free.
Even now, with inflation still rising, with interest rates punishing the aspirational, with public services collapsing, there’s no attempt to tax those who buy most food. Who save the least. Who disproportionately use and degrade those public services.
Let me tell you a little secret about the poor: there’s millions of them. More than one in five of the UK population are in poverty, and there are plenty more on the way.
They far outstrip the middle-classes. All those hedge-fund managers Labour are so keen to tax? There’s a mere handful of them. However much profit Amazon might make, there’s still only one.
But the poor? They litter this country, from their bedsits above London shops to whole estates, towns and even cities if you’ve had the misfortune to visit the north-east. And after 12 years of Conservative government there’s more of them than ever.
They’re so numerous – and oh Lord, do they breed – that you wouldn’t need to take a lot. Just a few pennies from each and we’d soon fill that fiscal black hole.
And would they miss it? Not like we do. The drop from M&S Food to Sainsbury’s is palpable and shaming for a middle-class family. The shame of an Aga you can’t afford to run is with you every day.
If you’re poor? You’re already on Aldi’s own-brand crisps. You’re already on the bus in Primark clothes. A little bit of tax won’t make any difference to your wretched lifestyle.
So rather than donning that hair shirt and attacking your own, Jeremy, do something truly bold. Tax the poor. Hit them hard. See how they bloody well like it.
