Politics

JACOB Rees-Mogg has suddenly realised that everyone who used to protect him from the bullies has left Parliament.

THE Scottish National Party is to hold an independence referendum over its association with Nicola Sturgeon.

ALL leaders elected in Britain, Scotland and the US between 2016-2019 are in deep legal shit, it has transpired.

CONCERNED friends of Boris Johnson have confirmed that while he remains defiant about parliament’s witch hunt, he is now only one-and-a-half feet tall.

BORIS Johnson has requested that the entire Chequers lockdown guest list be awarded the Victoria Cross for their bravery under fire.

WAIT, so Boris wants the inquiry to see everything but Rishi’s called the lawyers in? Exactly what has the little f**ker got to hide?

A BREXITER who voted for sovereignty and got spiralling inflation, a collapsing NHS and record immigration is wondering if he was the dickhead.

THE Johnsons, those fascinating creatures native to these isles, have once again engendered a simultaneous pregnancy and political scandal in order to reproduce. Here’s how it works.

DOMINIC Raab is walking away from politics to take up one of the countless offers from employers who want an inept bully on staff. Here’s his CV.

ANYONE claiming to harbour crushes on Penny Mordaunt, Angela Rayner or Dishy Rishi Sunak has been asked if they have heard of models, porn stars or actors.