Politics

BRITAIN has agreed that between inflation, rent, mortgage rates and taxes, National Insurance was definitely the problem in need of urgent attention.

THE Conservative party has apologised for losing the house in a series of ill-advised bets by presenting Britain with a bunch of flowers from the all-night garage.

TOMORROW’S budget statement is rumoured to contain tax cuts, but will they save you money or are they politicised bullshit? A group of twats give their views.

THE chancellor has announced he will personally execute the 2.6 million people on long-term sickness benefits to reduce welfare spending.

ISRAEL has confirmed it is declaring a ceasefire in Gaza after learning no less than eight Labour frontbenchers voted for one.

RWANDA has sympathised with the UK about its unlawful deportation plan and confirmed it will be keeping the money.

FOLLOWING Suella Braverman’s blistering resignation letter to Rishi Sunak, the prime minister has written back. His letter is below.

DAVID Cameron has been appointed foreign secretary in an act of sheer desperation. Here’s why Sunak had no other choice.

NO longer a cabinet minister and with a majority of a mere 20,000, I have been forced to seek alternative sources of income. Pay me for these.

RISHI Sunak’s weak leadership is absolutely bloody typical of migrants who come over here and think they can run the bloody place, Suella Braverman has said.