Politics

FORMER prime minister David Cameron is back in Downing Street to provide wise counsel on how to f**k a country beyond repair.

THE former home secretary has been told that being fired is a lifestyle choice that she has knowingly made.

THE prime minister has decided to bring back former Home Secretary Priti Patel because that is clearly what you are all clamouring for.

THE Met Police has admitted it has an institutional bias towards left-wing marches because it just loves those crazy guys.

A MAN who got his job by birthright is giving a speech on behalf of a man who won a contest by default.`

DEPOSED prime minister Boris Johnson never hung gold wallpaper and did not attend a single party, according to that same prime minister’s miraculous talking arsehole.

A DOWNING street staffer has told the Covid inquiry the ex-prime minister had the wrong ‘skill set’ to deal with Covid. So what type of crisis would he be capable of dealing with?

BORIS Johnson has confirmed that it is only a matter of time until he appears on I’m A Celebrity choking down crocodile dicks.

WANT to avoid a similar fate as Peter Bone and Crispin Blunt? Follow this handy guide for when you should keep your dick in your pants.

KEIR Starmer has quietly and modestly accepted his position as the poster boy of indifferent, apathetic change.