Politics

TORY leadership candidate Andrea Leadsom’s CV list her current position as 'Prime Minister of the UK from 2010-ongoing'.

NIGEL Farage has resigned as UKIP leader to focus on designing neo-fascist political posters for international clients.

CONSERVATIVE leadership candidate, Stephen Crabb, has announced he will cure every homosexual in Britain within three years.

EVERY candidate for the Tory leadership has said they were visited by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher.

THAT Andrea Leadsom, who wants to be prime minister, sounds like a total pain in the arse, it has been agreed.

A LABOUR supporter now regards everything that makes Jeremy Corbyn stand out from other politicians as unspeakably stupid.

DAVID Cameron only moved off his sofa yesterday to go to the fridge, he confirmed.

A VOTER who would in theory cheer on a female prime minister would prefer one who did not hate us.

MICHAEL Gove is to stand as Tory leader on the basis that he will betray absolutely anyone without a second’s hesitation. 

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted he does not understand why everyone is suddenly resigning just because they are hopelessly incompetent.