Politics

Corbyn incompetence just to wind up Owen Smith

WITH his re-election as Labour leader a certainty, Jeremy Corbyn has admitted he is only performing hopelessly to annoy rival Owen Smith.

Second referendum voters ‘might try finding out about it this time’

VOTERS might try to find out what they are voting for if there is a second EU referendum, they have announced.

Corbyn massively outstays welcome at friend’s house

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn regularly stays far too long when he visits a friend’s house.

A-level student joins shadow cabinet via clearing

AN A-level student with disappointing exam results has used the 'clearing' system to find a place in Jeremy Corbyn's shadow cabinet.

Labour to split party HQ down the middle, just like that episode of 'Steptoe and Son' 


THE Labour Party has agreed to split its headquarters straight down the middle after watching a classic 1972 episode of Steptoe and Son.

Owen Smith to start ISIS meeting with banter about whether Jaffa Cakes are biscuits

LABOUR leadership contender Owen Smith has revealed plans to engage ISIS with biscuit-based chit chat.

Farage takes long hard look in mirror and decides only his facial hair needs to change

NIGEL Farage has closely examined himself and decided his only flaw was a lack of facial hair.

Corbyn accuses his own left hand

JEREMY Corbyn has claimed that his left hand has been working to undermine him.

Everyone wondering what Trotskyists do all day

BRITONS are genuinely puzzled by what modern followers of Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky do with their time.

Cameron unable to claim Jobseeker’s Allowance for another five months

DAVID Cameron cannot claim unemployment benefit for another five months because he quit his last job, it has emerged.