Politics

THE Chancellor of the Exchequer has conceded that ‘numbers, money, that sort of thing’ are not his strong point.

THERESA May is to spend the next fortnight telling as many people as possible to just shut it.

THE prime minister has pulled the trigger on Article 50 but is still unsure whether anything has happened or not.

THERESA May has confirmed that she is just like Margaret Thatcher except not even any good at it.

SCOTLAND'S second independence vote must happen in the window between Theresa May's destruction of Britain and her sacking, Nicola Sturgeon has said.

THE Scottish Nationalists must forget independence and accept permanent rule by English twats they did not vote for, Theresa May has said.

THE prime minister has confirmed that Article 50 must be triggered on March 15th because it is written on her kitchen calendar in pen.

SLEAFORD Mods have taken charge of Britain after staging a coup against the government.

NIGEL Farage has accused UKIP MP Douglas Carswell of betraying the party ‘by not letting the hate flow through him’.

PRIME minster Theresa May is observing Lent by giving up her daily snack of six live mice.