Politics

THE prime minister has taken a moment to remember the last time she gave a direct answer to a question, back in 1996.

AN incredibly drunk Nick Clegg has been swearing violently at a pigeon in central London.

SCOTLAND wants independence in a way that is nationalistic rather than patriotic, according to the government.

THE entire population of the UK must spend the next two years with their government-assigned Brexit Buddy.

AS prime minister and leader of your country, I have just done something which will have consequences completely unknown to me.

THE exact opposite of anything Theresa May says is correct, concerned Britons have realised.

BREXIT supporters are celebrating while desperately trying to ignore all evidence that they are idiots.

THE Conservative Party broke campaign spending rules to promote candidates who are not worth a half-arsed, photo-copied leaflet.

JIM Davidson’s 2014 victory in Celebrity Big Brother was the first sign of the rise of far-right populism, experts have confirmed.

JEREMY Corbyn took ages in the Commons canteen as he pondered aloud whether to go for the pasta bake or the vegetarian chili.