Politics

THERESA May has told Britain’s electorate that her deal with the DUP is none of their f**king business.

THERESA May has confirmed that a supremely skilled politician like herself is easily worth £1 billion. 

A REMAIN supporter has marked one year of feeling superior to the ignorant plebs who supported Brexit.

A PASSIONATE crowd of about 15 people broke into chants of 'Oh, Andrea Leadsom' at a village fete in Northamptonshire yesterday.

A COMMITTED Brexiter has yet to find a street party celebrating Britain’s very own independence day.

THE prime minister has caused chaos at a Tesco checkout after being unable to do a deal where she handed over money for goods.

THE Queen’s Speech has ended abruptly with the words ‘fuck this,’ spoken halfway through a sentence, before the monarch wandered off.

A BREXITER who has finally realised it will not turn out well is to claim he was just joking.

TWO frontrunners have emerged in what is expected to be the most exciting Lib Dem leadership contest since William Gladstone defeated Florence Nightingale in 1865.

BRITONS should not turn against each other but remain united in love, according to prominent right-wing extremists keen to move on.