Politics

THE government has set up ‘Operation Yellowhammer’ to make emergency plans for a chaotic no-deal Brexit. So what should you do if everything goes to shit?

THERESA May has offered Boris Johnson her job as prime minister while all the other Tories hid and laughed as he absolutely crapped himself.

JEREMY Corbyn is under increasing pressure to remove his head from his rectum and do something about Brexit.

THE Government has detailed all the crippling inconveniences of a no-deal Brexit while adding how much we will love them.

A NAN who lives in a local authority affected by Tory cuts has given an utterly incomprehensible account of why she always votes for them.

THE government has unveiled plans to eradicate homelessness by buying a tent from Millets.

A WOMAN’S poem praising Jeremy Corbyn may be the most horrendous thing ever to exist.

MOST middle Englanders are so terrified of Jeremy Corbyn they would happily vote for Cambodian despot Pol Pot, it has been confirmed.

MODERATE UK politicians are bewildered that the clueless, moronic, and bigoted general public, especially those in the godforsaken North, do not support them and their careers.

BREXITERS Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg are still not helping to pick fruit despite being directly responsible for a chronic shortfall in seasonal farm workers.