Politics

THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.

THE UK has achieved a significant breakthrough in the process of being done hard by the EU, and can now move to being properly shafted.

REMAINERS have confessed that they are thoroughly enjoying the humiliating collapse of Brexit and cannot wait to see what happens next.

BREXIT secretary David Davis has denied ever having heard the word ‘Brexit’ before and has asked somebody to explain it to him.

DAVID Davis has told MPs that dinosaurs did not demand an impact assessment for the meteor that wiped them out.

SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson has been ordered to drop her radical position of relative sanity and join her fellow Tories in madness.

LABOUR’S elusive leader Jeremy Corbyn has been located playing Laser Quest in Swindon.

PEOPLE just become confused and upset if they rise above their existing social class, the government has claimed.

BREXIT secretary David Davis has happily paid over £50 million to cancel his contract at Fitness First.

JACOB Rees-Mogg perused lithographs showing the bare ankles of Victorian strumpets in his constituency office, it has been claimed.