Politics

HAVE you completely abandoned sense and reason over Brexit? Find out how you rate on the ‘Brexit thickness scale’ by seeing if you hold any of these views.

MEMBERS of the Independent Group have discovered that now they no longer have their parties to moan about they really fucking hate each other.

By former Wetherspoons customer Roy Hobbs

THE eighth Labour MP to quit for the independent group admitted she was meant to leave on Monday but it had been a big weekend.

BITTER infighting over Europe has led Conservatives to question whether it was a good idea to join a party known for being horrible to people.

JEREMY Corbyn has lined up seven marrows at his allotment, spoken to them in angry tones then smashed them with a spade, observers confirmed.

A SPLIT in the Labour party today means both of Britain’s leading political parties will spend all their time constantly denouncing traitors. 

PRESIDENT Trump has announced that any situation where he does not get what he wants immediately is a national emergency.

WITH only 44 days left until an Article 50 extension is forced by parliament, the EU, Theresa May or all three, the public cannot stop watching the countdown. 

TRADE secretary Liam Fox has signed trade deals worth more than £4.8 billion with countries which do not exist, he has triumphantly announced.