Politics

ARE you a f*ck-up to your very core, like certain figures in the national spotlight presently, but keen to mask it as hapless buffoonery?

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted to a huge 'man-crush' on Conservative leadership candidate Rory Stewart. 

BRITAIN has reluctantly agreed that it is our turn to elect a hilariously vain d*ckhead.

BORIS Johnson’s incessant flow of bullsh*t is perfect for Brexit negotiations, it has been claimed.

THE Conservative leadership race will today shed a few of its more useless, hapless and hopeless f*ckers, the Tories have promised.

HAVE you been invited to a cocaine party but are worried you won’t know what to do? Here Michael Gove explains all you need to know.

BORIS Johnson has confirmed that only a f**king halfwit would support no-deal Brexit and he is that man.

THE ten candidates to become prime minister have been sent to a country house to be picked off one by one by whichever of them is secretly the killer.

BORIS Johnson has blindsided rivals for the Tory leadership by proposing tax cuts but – let this sink in – for the already wealthy. 

MICHAEL Gove remains manically convinced nothing can stop him becoming Tory leader though nobody knows where he is getting his confidence from.