Politics

BRITAIN cannot see why Theresa May is announcing plans to slash corporation tax, sure to be acclaimed by ordinary voters, discreetly in New York. 

LABOUR have announced their new policy to give all employees shares in the businesses they work for, despise and want to see destroyed. 

THE prime minister has acknowledged she was chosen to do one single task and has done nothing but fuck it up.

THE Labour Party has confirmed the smelting of a 24 foot bronze statue of Jeremy Corbyn in which he will be either handing out bread or banging his left fist into his right hand.

THE government has triumphantly announced that one small sector of the British economy will not be adversely affected by Brexit.

THERESA May has informed Brexiters plotting a coup against her that she walked out a week ago and nobody even noticed. 

THE Tories are facing a fresh scandal after Jacob Rees-Mogg confessed to a passionate affair with 19th century monarch Queen Victoria.

POLITICIANS have realised Boris Johnson is sleeping in the House of Commons after being kicked out by his wife.

THE government has set up ‘Operation Yellowhammer’ to make emergency plans for a chaotic no-deal Brexit. So what should you do if everything goes to shit?

THERESA May has offered Boris Johnson her job as prime minister while all the other Tories hid and laughed as he absolutely crapped himself.