Politics

RISHI Sunak has replaced furlough, which pays you for doing nothing, with the Job Support Scheme that pays you for doing less. But how does it work? 

RAIL franchises are being scrapped, but rest assured you’ll still be getting the shitehouse train service that is every Briton’s birthright.

DO you know how long I’ve wanted to be prime minister? My whole life. And I finally get here and what happens? You, the British people, seem determined to ruin it.

PATRIOTISM, family, security: Starmer’s version of Labour sounds well Tory. Here’s how to spot the difference.

MICHAEL Gove has ordered Britain to work from pubs, drink in the office and only meet members of their household outside.

DO YOU think you could live comfortably on the prime minister’s £150,000 salary? Think again. Boris Johnson explains how hard it is.

THE UK’s status as officially f**ked and its leadership by total f**knuts could be connected, it has emerged.

HATING your job? Pay too low? House cramped? Didn’t really plan on living with a newborn when you were 56? With this and more you too can look a f**king state.

HAS the dream job you spent your whole pathetic life angling for turned to shit? Here, speaking from experience, the prime minister tells you how to cope.

PRITI Patel’s neighbours are watching her house for any evidence of more than six people so they can immediately call the police, they have confirmed.