THE newly appointed minister for common sense has advised the public if they vote Tory after the last 14 years they ‘need their heads examined’.
Esther McVey was given the role in the last Cabinet reshuffle and has wasted no time giving the public her bracing view that the Tory party is a busted flush only a knobhead could support.
Speaking from the front of her black cab, McVey said: “It ain’t controversial, mate. It’s just common bleeding sense.
“I mean take that Rishi. We didn’t vote for the prick. He’s helicoptered round between his massive houses while we’re paying tax through the bloody nose, and for what? Shite dumped in our rivers?
“All this stuff he’s telling that’s wrong with government, well it’s his government, it’s been in power yonks and what have they achieved? Square root of f**k all except filling their pockets. Working man’s poorer than ever. Shopping bill’s a joke.
“And Brexit? Don’t get me started. If there’s benefits from it they’ve skipped my house. Nah, Tories have had their chance and it’s been bollocks. I’m voting that Starmer next.”
The prime minister said: “Right. Because I didn’t mean actual common sense.”
