BRITAIN and America have announced a trial separation during which they will be free to see other countries.
Tensions have been building between the two since the ill-fated decision to buy and refurbish a run-down Middle Eastern state together.
What started out as a simple, cosmetic renovation, with very little in the way of plumbing or electrical work, has become a hellish multi-trillion dollar nightmare which threatens to destroy civilisation.
Wayne Hayes, professor of geopolitics at Dundee University, said: "The 'special-relationship' had some great times, especially that weekend in Barcelona.
"But now they see us as an aircraft carrier with shops and we see them as a bunch of swivel-eyed morons. We all need a break."
America has drawn up a shortlist of countries it wants to spend some time with, including Australia, Argentina and even Iran for a bit of "dirty, crazy fun".
Meanwhile Britain may look to France with it's new leader and his gorgeous wife or the "unbearably cute" South Korea.
But more adventurous members of the government want Britain to spend time with Brazil, stressing that although there maybe a language problem, "at least we'll learn to dance".
