FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, tries to keep schtum about having an extra week off school to go on holiday.
WAGWAN? Active J is low, coz man is a criminal, fam. Man ‘as committed High Treason against da school an’ is servin’ him’s punishment in da bare cruellest way possible.
In history, Miss Jackson woz teachin’ mandem crew habout dis guy called Fawkes an’ him’s gunpowdered plot, innit. Bruv woz keepin’ a secret from da hauthorities habout him’s plans to blow up da cribs of Parliament, innit.
Active J felt solid wiv Fawkes coz man too is keepin’ a secret from da hauthorities. No, fam, man is not blowin’ up da school, man is doin’ so much worse – Active J is takin’ a holiday in da term time. Well, man woz.
Next week is da half-term week, but parentdem ‘ad booked two weeks to see da pointy pyramids in Hegypt, innit. So, Active J ‘ad to ‘ave da hextra week an’ say man is flu sick an’ keep da school feds from knowin’. Da hauthorities sussed da gunpowdered plot, an’ dat is wot ‘appened to Active J, innit.
Miss Jackson set homework on da plot to be ‘anded in hafter da half term, but man would be in Hegypt, so man ‘anded it in da next day. Brains, bruh.
But Miss bare hinterrogated Active J, askin’ why Joshua ‘ad ‘anded in him’s homework, for da first time hever, da day hafter it woz set? Active J woz bare silent, so as to not to hincriminate Joshua.
Miss went deep an’ asked if man woz hidin’ ting. Man said nah, gyal. So Miss asked man to remove him’s North Face balaclava an’ boxfresh Ray Bans, innit. Den Miss sed Joshua you is goin’ on ‘oliday wiv parentdem in da term-time, hagain, isn’t you? Fam, man woz grassed up by a dirty snake. Dat woz da only possible reason for Miss knowin’.
Now, like da guy Fawkes, Active J is guilty of High Treason hagainst da authorities, an’ man ‘as to suffer da bare rank consequences. Wasteman parentdem is goin’ to Hegypt wivout man, ‘an Active J is to be himprisoned for two weeks at dickhead Drilla’s crib. Wot is dat about? Is you jokes?
Da guy called Fawkes might ‘ave been hexecuted, an’ him’s heffigy burnt hevery Bonfire Night since, but compared to Active J’s punishment, him’s ‘ad it bare peng, fam.
