War

GOOGLE has kicked the Queen squarely in the teeth, it has been confirmed.

A PLOT to blow up the London Stock Exchange suggests that Islamic terrorists now want to do us a favour, it has emerged.

CHIEF Daily Mail space creature Paul Dacre has mind-merged with his martian leader to report that Earth is almost ready for invasion.

AMERICA'S withdrawal from Iraq will be marked by a special civil war as soon as the last helicopter leaves.

MEN with full libraries of SAS books, a selection of balaclavas and a cabinet of replica weapons are to solve the Army’s recruitment crisis, it has emerged. emerged.

AYMAN al-Zawahiri was last night named as the leader of the three guys sitting in his living room that everyone has agreed to call 'Al Qaeda'.

HOME Secretary Theresa May has asked GPs to check if any of their patients look like they might blow up soon.

CHRIST the Saviour has told the Archbishop of Canterbury to stop being such a pansy.

MILLIONS of people across the world have been denied the chance to use up the best part of their morning staring at the gloopy contents of Osama Bin Laden's ruptured head.

THE death of Osama Bin Laden is a temporary glitch, purveyors of top quality fear have insisted.