War

A SOLDIER who has been fighting the war on drugs for more than 20 years has finally emerged from a big jungle full of bullshit.

LOCKHEED is to build a hypersonic robot spy plane based on the drawings of eight-year-old Kyle Stephenson.

PAUL Dacre and Alan Rusbridger are to have a fight in the street at 6pm this evening.

NORTHERN Ireland's protestants are yet again commemorating a 17th Century battle by poncing around in their bowler hats.

SOLDIERS who failed to meet Afghan death targets are to be sacked.

JIHADISTS said the idea of a woman being in charge of young males in uniform was driving them crazy.

HORSES are now at war with humans.

A MASSIVE helicopter armed with machine guns, missiles and rocket launchers has been used to kill people, it has emerged.