Society

THE GCSE science syllabus is to include ideological indoctrination and extremist violence, Ofsted has confirmed.

A STUNT involving a terrified parachuting donkey left children disappointed by the lack of death, it emerged last night.

SHARING interminable, exaggerated anecdotes about drug experiences should be a criminal offence, it was claimed last night.

A CARDIFF councillor has been suspended after claiming the Earth is round and orbits the sun.

ALL Frenchmen in the UK will have to wear a bucket on their heads or be moved around in a box, the government will confirm today.

A NEW graduate tax will see those bothered to turn up, get a good degree and a lucrative career pay a higher rate than the likes of you.

POUNDLAND is pretty good, human rights campaigners admitted last night.

THE primary school headteacher on £270,000 a year is devoting much of his spare time to rubbing his doctor's nose right in it.

PRIVATE skank academies are under pressure to admit more budding footballer semen receptacles from low-income families.

RAOUL Moat was executed on behalf of a group of Tory billionaire businessmen whose names you will never know, it was claimed last night.