Society

MANY ninja school-leavers are unfit for even the least dangerous missions, according to leading UK warlords.

NO matter which way you try to finesse it, working in a call centre will crush you, according to a new study.

RESEARCH showing that men lie more than women is proof they should stop asking them awkward questions in the first place, say scientists.

JOHN Lewis has commissioned Billy Joel to write a beautiful, poignant song about engaged couples and their wedding lists.

BRITAIN'S middle classes are threatening all-out passive-aggression if the government raises tax on all the nice things they like.

THOUSANDS of farmers are using Facebook to play a game where they pretend to work in an office and spend all day doing nothing and talking out of their arse.

OH shit, there's a fucking bee in here, it was confirmed last night.

IMAGES of male beauty in the media are forcing men to make a grudging effort to look half-decent.

NURSERY school children will no longer be allowed to bite chunks out of each under new rules introduced today.

YOUNG would-be homebuyers are still clinging to their nauseatingly rose-tinted hopes and dreams, it was claimed last night.