Society

THE impending first release on the Occupy movement's record label may feature a short burst of rapping, experts have warned.

BRITAIN'S poor people have finally conceded defeat and vowed to find work first thing this morning.

THINGS that do not always work perfectly should not be advertised on the television, angry people have claimed.

THE forgotten victims of the phone hacking scandal are the millions who would love to see John Prescott living under a bridge, it was claimed today.

UNDERGROUND train drivers have rejected an offer of some extra money for no reason, because they are fine.

WITH Wikipedia laid low by chronic indignation, the Daily Mash has unselfishly stepped into the breach with a list of today's Top Ten Must-Have facts.

MICHAEL Gove today called for everyone to get annoyed about the Queen's unrelenting pointlessness.

LOCAL authorities celebrated last night after a High Court ruling gave them the right to impound cars just totally on a whim.

EVERYONE has apologised for everything they have ever done, said, or spelled wrong.

SUPPORT for the high speed rail link between London and Birmingham was muted yesterday as nobody really wants to go there.