Society

NONE of the the people who think the baby Jesus mends broken boo-boos are in prison.

THE latest rise in postal rates is forcing many households to hire their own surly layabout.

THE Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat is to be Britain's first 100 percent twat-friendly festival.

SOLDIERS are being trained to tut, sigh and then finally deliver the wrong brand of cigarettes through the sliding metal tray at 24-Hour-garages.

MALE pattern baldness sufferers have discovered news of a possible cure tucked away on page 16 of their newspapers.

THE arrival of televisions that can spy on you means Britain is now a fully-qualified dystopia.

THE new 45p tax rate is 10 percent easier to avoid than the 50p rate, experts have confirmed.

DENNIS Waterman has provoked a furious debate about exactly how shit Minder actually was.

TELEVISED entertainment is mostly for clever people and snobs, it has been claimed.

TAXPAYERS are to receive a detailed breakdown of how their money was spent that is indvidually tailored to their cretinous world view.