Society

SCOTTISH people will soon be able to marry their favourite high calorie snack.

INJUNCTION proceedings forcing border staff into work on Thursday will ensure the gruffest possible welcome for Olympic tourists, it has been claimed.

MILLIONS of Britons are thinking about what they'd be doing in the sun if they weren't busting their asses in a soulless office environment.

THIS year's top 10 names for cocaine have been announced by leading drugs trade figures.

BUILDERS' cash-in-hand earnings only remain outside the tax system until they arrive at a place that sells beer, it has been claimed.

THE enduringly popular and internationally appealing Victorian serial killer Jack the Ripper will light the Olympic flame, it has emerged.

BORIS Johnson has assured Londoners that the capital’s fabulously-wealthy travel infrastructure is doing just fine.

THE imaginary Oxbridge that exists only in the heads of people obsessed with going there is the UK's top-ranked university.

ATHLETES with cheap or unfashionable trainers face bullying from their peers in the Olympic Village, it has been claimed.

The Daily Mash presents the story of the Olympics, from its roots in the classical era to becoming a modern-day massive balls up.