Society

STOCKY men are aggressive because their clothes are constantly chafing.

PEOPLE who do not retire live longer because they are fuelled by hatred for their co-workers.

SCIENCE fiction conventions are attracting more hard bastards than football matches, it has emerged.

MOST British men have no idea what masculinity would actually involve, it has been confirmed.

SIMPLY deciding in advance what you want from a cashpoint can stop others wanting to kill you, it has been claimed.

MEN were last night delighted to discover that feminism is making a comeback.

A CRISIS in A & E means Britons may be forced to reconsider whether they can have a fight this weekend.

TELEVISION adverts must show a couple getting together, having kids and then sending their kids to university, according to new guidelines.

BABIES born in summer will be handed over to McDonald's when they reach 13 years of age.

JIMMY Savile's relationship with West Yorkshire Police could have seemed corrupt to the untrained eye, according to an official report.