Society

TOMORROW, and perhaps for years to come, you will be the resident of a country led by a truffle-snuffling entitled toddler. Here’s how to spend the final day without him.

THE audience for Question Time is the main reason Britain is so f*cked right now, research has confirmed.

A YORKSHIREMAN has confirmed he has no problem with anyone translating his sentences into Southerner-approved English.

A COUPLE’S pet dog is lying at their feet and deciding which of them he would kill and eat if he had absolutely no option.

DO you fancy being being popular down the pub by spouting idiotic crowd-pleasing opinions? Here are some great ones to try.

A TEENAGER has committed a terrible faux pas by forgetting to include the word ‘legit’ in a text message. 

BEING Northern isn’t a geographical thing - it’s a state of mind. Whether you live in Sheffield, Shelby or Skipton, here’s how not to be a soft Southern ponce.

DRIVERS who have had their licences for 50 years or more are only to be allowed to drive between the hours of 11pm and 6am. 

IT’S traditional for school reunions to only be attended by people you didn’t like. So which tossers from the past can you expect to see?

CHILDREN are unexpectedly appearing at the school gates with a full year’s worth of books, artwork, homework and all the other crap, parents have confirmed.