Society

IF your house alarm goes off and there’s an intruder, what should you do if you’re a soft-as-shite Guardian reader? Read our guide.

A DAD has arrived for his flight fully prepared and 143 hours early, it has emerged.

DASHCAM footage has apparently captured the moment a BMW driver waved ‘thanks’ to a fellow motorist.

A WOMAN is now showing too many pictures of her new dog, co-workers have confirmed.

PARENTS just let their offspring get the f**k on with it when they have more than two children.

A MASOCHIST has ordered a home delivery despite knowing full well he will not be in to receive the package.

SOME of Britain’s most unbearable pricks have confirmed that they find Donald Trump's level of dickishness excessive.

A CONDOM machine in a village pub longs for the touch of a human hand, it has confirmed.

A WOMAN who once spent £85 on a Princess Diana memorial plate from the back of magazine believes that young people are bad with money.

A CHILD has been left traumatised after seeing one of his teachers in the supermarket during the school holidays.