Society

A SCHOOLBOY has told the unspeakable truth about his sh*tty British summer holiday in a back-to-school essay.

THE government is preparing the UK for Brexit by putting helpful advice written by a 19-year-old Whitehall intern on a website. Try these tips:

A WOMAN who missed one person out of an email thread is now wishing she had never been born.

A MAN considered to have an elite-level intellect after solving a Facebook word puzzle may be a fraud, it has emerged.

A GROUP of parents have been unable to hold back their tears of delight at the Back to School display in a Marks & Spencer.

A COUPLE  had a full table to themselves for a two-hour train journey, it has been confirmed.

A COUPLE are locked in an intense competition over who can be the most patient with their children.

PEAKY Blinders is now the most popular name for baby boys, with Killing Eve the most popular for girls.

HAVE you ever wondered what it would be like if Britain was an undemocratic, fascist state?

DO you want to scare the shit out of kids about to move from cuddly primary school to the cut throat corridors of secondary? Tell them these classic lies.