Society

A MAN has grown a twirly handlebar moustache to rule himself out of the gene pool.

A WOMAN with no understanding of mental disorders has taken to describing anyone different to her as being ‘on the spectrum’.

A WOMAN has confirmed a friend running late really was only the 10 minutes away that she claimed.

THE Operation Yellowhammer no-deal contingency plan will affect Britons differently according to their referendum vote. Here’s how.

A WOMAN has confirmed she only gave birth so that she would no longer have to attend social functions.

A CHILD’S birthday party has been organised specifically to f**k up the whole weekend.

A HUNGOVER man is struggling to stop himself from crying at the slightest provocation.

A NORTHERN man has been exiled to the South of England after telling friends London was ‘not that bad’.

CHILDREN have discovered their parents are total bullshitters who lie to them daily.

BIGOTED bones are terrible. I had a granddad who suffered. But today’s gammons don’t have a racist bone in them, and here’s why: