Society

A WOMAN who claims she rarely imposes on others in fact always does, friends and colleagues have confirmed.

ARE you a barber? Do you make haircuts as awkward as possible? Here’s a few things to try.

AN advertisement for a fourth person to share a London flat has sparked controversy by asking d*ckheads not to apply.

IS IT worth putting money aside for retirement, or will you spend your twillight years heading for higher ground to escape the floods and hoping to catch an edible leech?

A MAN who has become too old to go to Glastonbury is watching the highlights on TV and sadly urinating in a bottle that he intends to hurl at the wall.

TODAY’S younger generation and baby boomers are battling to be the bigger pack of cosseted, useless, whiny, awful tw*ts, it has emerged.

CRETINS are remembering the summer of 2012, when David Cameron was prime minister and the UK was two years into austerity, as some kind of Golden Age.

A LONDONER would love to leave London if everywhere he visited outside of London was not equally sh*t, he has admitted.

ARE you going to eat your sad Boots Meal Deal sandwich outside in a pathetic attempt to enjoy the sunshine? Read our guide to pretending it is some kind of picnic.

A COUPLE are obliged to invite people they do not like to their wedding simply because they have previously watched them get married.