A CHILD complaining of boredom has been handed the ultimate slapdown with a suggestion he play with his new toys though it is the last thing he wants to do.
Eight-year-old Jack Browne, who received Connetix magnetic tiles, a Hexbug wall-crawling gecko, 3D printing pens, a GrossMos flying dino, a Tricks n’ Twists marble tracks, a Furby and Moana Lego three days ago, told his parents he had nothing to do.
He continued: “And of course they say ‘Why not play with your new toys?’ as if that wasn’t the most predictable answer possible. As if I hadn’t already thought of that and rejected it.
“They even picked them up and waved them towards me, like I was struggling with object permanence. Er no, I know those toys are there, I’ll play with them in the fullness of time. But right now I’m chasing an alternative and I’m looking right at you.”
Mother Annie Browne said: “For f**k’s f**king sake, son. You’ve got shitloads. You asked for them. You have free time to enjoy them. Which part of this equation is eluding you?
“Don’t give me that shit about wanting to spend family time together, I was a child once. It’s bollocks. You’re just chasing the Christmas high in the hope there’s an even bigger Nerf gun we’ve forgotten about in the loft.
“There isn’t. Christmas is disappointing. Get used to it.”
