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Feminist going a bit too far for male friends' liking

A WOMAN’S liberal-minded male friends feel a bit uncomfortable about some of her feminist views that might apply to them, it has emerged.

Emma Bradford’s mates Martin Bishop and Nathan Muir are highly supportive on issues like equal pay, but go strangely quiet on topics such as watching porn.

Bishop said: “Me and Nathan are 100 per cent behind feminism but it has to stop somewhere. Like at the point of harmless ‘milf threesome’ porn I may have occasionally browsed out of curiosity.

“I’m totally against the objectification of women, but surely it’s OK to stare at scantily clad ladies in films? It’s not my fault I’ve got a male gaze.”

Muir said: “We totally agree with Emma that women should be paid the same as men, but I don’t see how watching a video called The Human Sextipede affects that.

“The actors in it probably got paid loads more than I do, and I’m glad about that because I’m a feminist.”

Bradford said: “Martin and Nathan have really sound views on reproductive rights, but they were totally unaware that sexy adverts and magazines like FHM are a direct cause of misogyny.”

Are you f**king knackered?

ARE you the most tired person in your office, marriage or possibly the world? Take our quiz if you can summon up the strength.

Did you try to lock the front door with the car key fob this morning?

A) No, I am tired, not an idiot.

B) Yes, how else would I lock the front door? Duh.

C) SHIT! I think I left the door wide open, but I can’t remember. I’d better go home and check. Where do I live again?

You are really hungry but the kitchen is too far away. Do you:

A) Think about dialling for a takeaway but decide tapping the buttons is too much effort.

B) Pretend you’ve wanted to eat a tin of baked beans and mini pork sausages cold with a spoon for ages.

C) Starve to death.

What on earth did you come into this room for?

A) I am not sure, but if I stare into space for long enough it might come back to me.

B) Something to do with Brexit?

C) How the hell did I get in here? What is this place?

You are lying on the sofa when the landline starts ringing. Do you:

A) Ignore it. If it’s urgent they’ll leave a voicemail you can never check.

B) Feel irrationally angry and shout “For fuck’s sake who’s phoning at this time?”, ie. 11am.

C) Assume it’s just the ringing in your ears and do nothing.

How many times have you said “I’m so tired” today?

A) Enough to make people bored rather than sympathetic.

B) Every time someone speaks to you, looks at you or comes within a five-mile radius of you.

C) Stop asking me questions. I’m so tired I need a little cry.

Mostly As: You are tired. But so is everyone these days. Drink some coffee, snowflake.

Mostly Bs: You are quite knackered. There may be a connection with getting shitfaced every night this week and watching Netflix till 3am. Ask your doctor.

Mostly Cs: You are totally knackered. Stop fucking around with quizzes and see if you can get away with curling up under your desk like a hamster.

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