THE USA has launched into a frenzy of grief and mourning over the Queen’s passing that far outweighs our own, it has emerged.
Royalist Americans are wailing in despair following the loss of a figure their country formally rejected but is the only thing about Britain they have actually heard of.
Jo Ann Kramer of Miami said: “Okay, so we have to clear the streets. Shut Disneyland. Close all the bars, and digitally add black armbands to reruns of the Friends London episodes.
“That’s what they’re doing in Britain, and we’re not being outmourned by a bunch of limey losers. Also it’s not respectful for Joe Biden to stay president because he’s Irish. She loved Trump so he needs to come back.”
Wayne Hayes of Harrisburg said: “We gotta start burning shit. Like this was the goddamn Queen, man. We need to make funeral pyres of at least three, four major East Coast urban centres that they can see from Europe, beginning with Boston.
“Also if you don’t sign a condolence book, and I mean in person, you lose your citizenship. Plus make Harry Prince of California and give him uncontested mining and solar rights.”
Jared Washington III, of Texas, agreed: “Could we renounce independence as a tribute to Her Maj? Just until the funeral at least. She would have loved that. Or maybe become a province of Canada?”
