Science & Technology

JESUS Christ, what’s that noise? And where is it coming from? Ah, it’s the landline you’re obliged to keep in order to have broadband. But who could be ringing?

A FAMILY suspect their dad loves his new pressure washer more than his children.

UNIVERSITIES’ online freshers weeks will include the traditional session of spontaneous awful sex with a loner bloke from your course but via Zoom.

IT’S almost September, and the government’s world-beating track-and-trace system has still not arrived. What inventions will get here first?

PEOPLE who communicate using GIFs have been told to f**king pack it in and string a sentence together.

YOU’RE probably expecting me, the A-level algorithm developed by Ofqual, to apologise. But I’m only sorry that you’re too stupid to realise you’re idiots.

A FEMALE scientist who discovered a coronavirus vaccine in March has given up trying to tell her male colleagues.

A RENOWNED female scientist has made it her life’s work to establish the precise timings of ‘Prosecco o’clock’ and ‘Gin o’clock’.

ARE your priorities all totally wrong because you live on social media? Find out with our handy quiz.

NEW research has confirmed that while people are legally adults at 18, they remain immature dickheads until approximately the age of 30.