Science & Technology

YOU thought you were prepared. You thought you had batteries enough for beyond Christmas. But however many you had, it is not enough.

PEOPLE who text you after a few minutes to see why you have not replied to their message should piss off and get a life.

A SHOPPER starved of human contact has given her sincere thanks to a checkout machine for scanning her purchases.

A MUM is studying for a four-year engineering degree in the hope she will learn how to untwist her child’s car-seat straps.

APPLE’S new AirPods Max headphones are capable of blocking out people laughing at you for paying £549 for them, it has emerged.

DO you like to entertain people with fun but surprising facts that make great talking points? Are they the same facts everyone already f**king knows?

NEW research suggests gaming can improve wellbeing. But today’s games aren’t the maddening frustration-fests of the 1980s. Find out how you’ve been mentally scarred.

SOUTH African Elon Musk has announced that now he has conquered space he has a new project: a spaceship that can fly right up his penis.

WE all get a buzz when our social media posts get a lot of likes. But don’t get too excited - here are the real reasons people have ‘liked’ your online ramblings.   

AN expert epidemiologist is doubting everything he has ever learned about viruses after reading the baseless opinions of some halfwit on Facebook.