A UK-based bellend is frustrated he cannot advertise his credentials as his area’s leading arsehole by driving a Tesla Cybertruck.
Oliver O’Connor, aged 35, believes he would achieve his aim of being the most widely-detested wanker in Loughborough if only he could import the angular £73,000 vehicle.
He said: “Justin Bieber’s got one. Pharrell Williams. The top US twats wouldn’t be seen in anything else.
“But even though I make six figures a year from predatory capitalism, I can’t have one because they’re not road-legal for being so big and heavy and sharp-edged they’d kill anyone I collided with. Way to make it even more attractive, guys!
“Despite being one of Leicestershire’s leading knobheads, there’s a limit to how many people I can piss off in person. Ashamed to say there are pubs where they don’t even say ‘oh f**k, it’s him’ when I enter.
“By driving the Cybertruck I’d be broadcasting my innate unpleasantness to so many more. They’d talk about me in disparaging tones as far away as Birmingham.
“But instead, because of stupid laws, I’m just one more prick in a BMW.”
