Relationships

THERE are times in life when stripping off and having sex would be a disastrously stupid idea, and men would be down for them all. Including these.

A WOMAN on a first date is already fantasising about the moment she can ghost the man she has just met.

A PLEASANT chat a woman was enjoying with her boyfriend has been ruined by his insistence on joining in.

A MAN was delighted to marry the most physically attractive of all his close female friends.

A GIRLFRIEND praised for being a relaxed, easy-going partner actually does not give a f**k about her relationship, it has emerged.

A FATHER has sat his teenage son down for a talk about how to ensure your internet history is not visible.

A FRIEND you previously found irritating and inattentive claims to have been gifted the perfect get-out clause in the form of his ADHD diagnosis.

YOUR partner should be able to have opposite-sex friends without you acting like a jealous nutter, right? No - these potential shaggers need to be watched like a hawk. Ask yourself these questions.

A WOMAN has consulted her female friends and relatives so that they can collectively decide wether or not she should dump her boyfriend.

SOME of us are lucky enough to still be in touch with close friends we grew up with, and by Christ they’re a pain in the arse. Here are some you're that close to telling to f**k off.