Relationships

SENDING sexually explicit messages to arouse a partner is actually confusing, stressful and easily ruined by autocorrect, lovers have confirmed.

THE only thing couples need to have in common is the desire to have sex with one another, it has been confirmed.

AFTER his increasingly wobbly waistline was genially pinched by his partner, a man has made the fatal error of doing the same back to her.

IS your partner a bit grumpy today? Then you'd better steer clear of these well-meant and innocent responses which will send them right over the edge.

A NERD who has never had sex says being a virgin is a deliberate choice to keep his genitals in perfect, re-sellable condition.

A CHILD-FREE have had their life choices resoundingly validated after five days with their relatives’ children.

A MARRIED man who has enjoyed no fewer than three sexual encounters in 2023 has declared it to be a landmark year for him sexually.

A BOOK of vouchers for sex acts a man received from his girlfriend for Christmas are destined to expire unused in a bedside drawer. 

JUST because you’re both in your 30s doesn’t mean your brother or sister has ceased to be a twat, or that you should not come to blows about the following trivialities.

A WOMAN who has returned to her hometown for Christmas has been overwhelmed by the attentions of gruffly handsome lumberjacks, it has emerged.